Forlorn till Found
by way2Ddawn
Summary: Haruno Sakura is a bright girl, though no one can actually see it. Her parents's "love" changed her to a suicidal person. There was nothing more to her life, she was ready to give it up until she meets the new kid... life suddenly seems more bearable.


I awoke moments before the song from my clock even played. My heavy eyelids made sure that my vision can only see the last two digits of the red display of the digital alarm clock. 35. Was it 35 minutes on the hour of my usual routine or an hour late or even an hour before was out of the question. My head was throbbing like hell. I had another episode last night. I think I drunk a record of a dozen bottles of beer. And now I have a hang over. A huge one. I feel as if my brain is going to pry open my skull to get out. Why was I drinking you ask? Well, what can I say, nothing beats alcohol to end yet another useless week.

_There is no real me. Only an entity._ My alarm clock started. It was either Nick Wiggins or wiL Francis that was reciting those words, not singing them. His voice was monotonous without a hint of any emotions. If only everything could that be easily observed. I took the blanket and hid my face from the cold and bright morning.

"And though I can hide my cold gaze..." I mumbled in harmony. Perhaps trying to sing with these people with ease the agonizing pain that was pounding hard in my skull. Although, I doubt that it will. "... and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense that our lifestyles are probably..."

I stopped my nonsense for a while and listened. Silence. Nothing but utter silence. My brain started beating a separate beat other than my heart's. My alarm clock just ceased the music that was coming out. I heard nothing but my own voice for the last few words that I muttered. There was only one explanation for this, and I am sure that it was the only possible reason. In that moment, my blanket was thrown away from me, leaving my skin that isn't covered in clothes bare.

"Sakura," a sharp pain shot up my head in the mention of my name. My eyelids gripped the bottom of my eyes almost immediately, hiding my eyes away from the brightness that was penetrating the dark curtains around the windows.

Hey, my name is Haruno Sakura. I'm in grade eleven in a boarding high school. Yes, go ahead and label me emo if you want, but I prefer calling myself emotionally disturbed. I'm an outcast, that lives a fucked up life... no one gives a shit, however. My life is overly pathetic that no one would care if it simply ended one day. I turned up like this because my parents suffocated me with love the moment I gave out my first breath. They restrained my freedom, and thus turning me to the person I am now: rebellious and suicidal. I love them so fucking much.

"Fuck off, Haku." I snorted, trying to glare at her with my half open eyes. Her long hair was in a bun, wet from a shower. Her voice and her face was exasperatingly gleeful and kind. Haku has been my room mate since I moved in. She tried to understand me but how could she? She was a perfect girl after all, everybody loves her and she loves them back. Even up to now, she is the only person who bothers giving a pint of concern for me. I find it very very _very _annoying.

"C'mon, get up... it's a new day." she was making my brain even more agonizingly painful than it already was. Ignoring her, I rolled to my side and shut my eyes... if only my ears could be shot as well. "Have you been drinking again?"

"What don't you understand about 'fuck off'?" there was still a bit of diligence in my voice, though my nerves are starting to snap.

"You have been my room mate since forever, you should know how stub burn I am better." _Go screw your pedophilic boy friend_, I taught but did not say. Slowly, anger was consuming the rest of my working mind. "You have a hang over, don't you? Sakura, not again. You get drunk every week! What are you trying to do?! Kill yourself?! Stop it! This will not solve anything."

"How about leaving me alone? If you know that I have a fucking hang over then why don't you just piss off?"

"You always try to keep everything to yourself, talk to people... it doesn't even have to be me, just go tell someone about your--" I couldn't stand her nagging any longer. I stood and marched to the bathroom. I slammed the door with force that it shook few things in the bathroom out of place. She did not speak. My brain is not functioning from a hang over. She was nagging me first thing in the morning. I am not normally this _hostile_ towards her, but she is just getting in my blood right now. I sat on the floor, my back against the door. I closed my eyes. All I need is rest.

"I'm sorry," her gentle voice from the other side of the door said. I felt guilty, but I just so confused I can't even show it right now. Her voice was forcing the fact that she thinks she did something wrong, even if I was the vile one in this situation... what a bad way to start off someone's day. "I'll... see you in class then."

I heard the door open and closed. She was gone. Again it was me and the alarming silence. I will apologize, once I get my brain up and running... but for now, all I need is sleep. I rested my head on the wall and drifted into sleep.

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**Disclaimer.** _(Yes, I am required to include this.)_

**A.N::** _... no flaming, please. I am having an emotional breakdown right now and that's the last thing I need. Please and Thank you._


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